Young pigs are taught at an early age how to survive in a cruel, bacon-loving world! Quote of the Day: “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” – Woody Allen

Skateboarding off the side of a mountain seemed like a such a great idea! Funeral is Friday at 4:00! Quote of the Day: “Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.” – Peter Ustinov  

Steven King’s wife. No, not that wife, the other one! Quote of the Day:  “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” – Steve Martin  

Hmmm, now which car did I drive to work? Quote of the Day:  “I never said most of the things I said.” – Yogi Berra  

It was the final match between good and evil, and unless he pulls a groin muscle, evil is about to kick the sideburns off his opponent! Quote of the Day: “It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.” – Douglas Adams  

Something tells me this is not a gesture of kindness! Quote of the Day:  ”Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

What if shadows were inverted? Quote of the Day: ”Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk” - Stephen King

Help Wanted: Needed, one exceptionally skilled knife catcher! Those with poor skills will be considered as long as they’re exceptionally fast healers! Quote of the Day:  ”Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” – Terry Pratchett

They get shorter and floppier when they’re less excited! Quote of the Day: “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” – Leo Rosenberg

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.” Quote of the Day: “Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?” – Bob Monkhouse