What’s the matter, cat got your tongue? Quote of the Day: “Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not by much.” – Buddy Hackett

Time to change the weather! Quote of the Day: “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

Note to Self: When dating a bear, always be sure to wear protection! Quote of the Day: “A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” – Franklin Jones

If your vision is getting bad, squeezing in a little exercise never hurts! Quote of the Week:  ”Misers aren’t fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.” – David Brenner

Maybe pigs can fly! Quote of the Week: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” - Ayn Rand

Clearly Van Damme has inspired people everywhere to do a knockoff of his Volvo “splits” ad! Quote of the Day:  ”The tax code is now nine times longer than the Bible, and not nearly as interesting.” – Rob Portman

Funniest joke ever! Quote of the Day:  ”Just an FYI: If scientists invented the legal system, eye witness testimony would be inadmissible evidence.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

Help Wanted: Teachers in Afghanistan.  Also Wanted: A School! Quote of the Day:  ”A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.” — Baltasar Gracian

Now, for my next trick, I present hoover cat! Quote of the Day:  ”Just the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” […]

Even before they hacked your emails and phone calls, the NSA had you under serious scrutiny! Quote of the Day: “Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” — Dame Edna Everage