Sadly, very few mail-order bride companies offer a “freshness guarantee”
“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’ll be a shortage of sand.” – - Milton Friedman
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To most dogs, squirrels are good for relieving stress. However,
for Charlie, this little guy has become an obsession
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Life’s greatest breakthroughs happen when you least expect them
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Noooooo! Not the toaster! Nooooooo!
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Life can be cruel, especially when they forget to shave their legs
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There’s two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
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You know the world will end soon when dogs learn to record and play back their own barks,
simply because they are too lazy to do it themselves
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Often times the humor on the outside belies the “weeping and gnashing of teeth” on the inside
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That’s how I roll
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After her brief moment as a rebel, she promptly dropped her hat to the ground and
once again, blended into the crowd
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“Do you like my new loafers?”
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“Hey! I found Waldo!”
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Nothing inspires a 400 horsepower kiss quite like Red Bull
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After this moment in time, his life had no where to go but down hill
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Teddy bear injuries cannot go unpunished. A couple more shots and he would seek his revenge.
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Strangely enough, the point of taking a waffle bath is not to get clean.
Come to think of it, we’re not sure what the point it
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F1 was always the frisky one
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What kid wouldn’t want one of these?
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The Mediterranean Mating Ritual was the easiest way ever for her to land a date
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A face that only a dead uncle, twice removed, and deported to Siberia, could love
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Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no minimum size requirements for getting married
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Teachers should know better than to leave a classroom unattended. Someone could have died
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If you have never considered suicide, this may be a sign
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Only NASCAR drivers know how to land sponsorships at this age
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You cannot fool me truck; you’re not edible.
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Surprisingly, the full-service car wash involved far less than he expected
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Some cats are naturally cool. Others have to improvise
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It’s very difficult to find a place to study without being interrupted
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Much like a game of musical chairs, when a dog’s ability to restrain themselves runs out,
there will simply be fewer chickens on planet earth
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The best scenes in ballet rarely happen on stage
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