When spies attempt to infiltrate the ranks of PETA, nothing can be left to chance
“People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.” – - David Letterman
.
In the future, carpenter’s pay will be based strictly on performance
.
.
.
Don’t worry, we’re from the Internet
.
.
.
I’m all ears…. no, literally
.
.
.
My latest diet book recommended I get rid of all my containers, so I did
.
.
.
A few of the government’s job creation schemes still have a few wrinkles, but at least they are always hiring
.
.
.
Even inanimate objects sometimes have an identity crisis
.
.
.
The nightmares that stuff is made from
.
.
.
When going through a divorce, it’s best to make all your money stand up and pay attention
.
.
.
Whooaah! Foot!
.
.
.
Big hairy fuzzy things just make her smile. And so does the cat
.
.
.
…and then this happened
.
.
.
The snow plow cleared the street, and then a giant dog showed up
.
.
.
Hell has no fury like a woman scorned
.
.
.
If it walks like a duck and acts like a duck…. Nope! ….definitely not a duck
.
.
.
The ultimate shopping experience
.
.
.
Having an underwater parking garage virtually insures the car will never be stolen.
However, the plan wasn’t without its flaws
.
.
.
Apparently it’s been a problem
.
.
.
Internet prodigies are getting younger every year
.
.
.
Not gonna happen
.
.
.
I’m not even sure how that would work. Are they made to be molestable?
.
.
.
Wow, that was a mistake! Tenth degree hot sauce at the Chili Hut? Never again!
.
.
.
I’ve always wondered how water knows how to stick together. Now I know!
.
.
.
Occasionally you will find someone who is just married to themselves
.
.
.
When driving a car, never, never, never divide by zero
.
.
.
After getting turned away by Mr. Tight Wad, we went next door
and got similar treatment from his sister
.
.
.
When eating spaghetti, its not uncommon for it to get a little messy
.
.
.
